The class was supposed to be at 10 am but I arrived at 10:16 am. When I opened the door no one even bothered to glance or look back at me, as usual. I was soaking wet that day, that fucking rain. My jacket was dripping and my hair was all messy so the first thing I did was to put my bag down on my desk and went to the restroom. Funny, it was called as ‘restroom’ when the only thing you can do there is just shit or pee or look at your pathetic self at the mirror and see the pure ugliness that is all in there.
why am i not like the others?
why do i look like this?
why don’t they talk to me?
So many questions even though I already knew the answer to all of it: it’s because this is who I am, and to the losers who told people to be themselves because that’s what matters, that’s a load of bull. That only applies for the cool kids—who never bothered to look at the mirror for hours worrying that they won’t look okay—who has a natural charm who just simply can strike a conversation with anybody. Yeah, be yourself if you’re cool; if you’re like me, it’s best if you pretend to be somebody else or just simply not exist.
So after I dried myself up—thanks to the Jurassic hand blow dryer in there—I went back to the room and pretended like nothing happened. I actually don’t have to try hard because no one seems to care, or notice. As soon as the class started, I began to feel a li’l dizzy and felt like my vision was spinning. I dozed off.
I made up my mind. I’m gonna do this.
While he was in the middle of discussing the different forms of verbs—simple, perfect, progressive and perfect progressive—which to be honest I didn’t give a horseshit, I grabbed the gun from my knapsack. It was still wet from the rain.
They were all busy, not listening to Mr. Harding but minding their own businesses. That’s when I did it. I put the gun inside my mouth and fired it.
They all looked back, looking all horrified. I don’t know if it was because of the sound, or the fact that my brains were scattered all over the wall or that because they haven’t noticed me until that time.
Well at least now they noticed, finally.